“Complete masculinity and stupidity are often indistinguishable.” H.L. Mencken
What sorts of feelings does hearing the word, “homo”, evoke for you?
This is what one of my 8th grade boys called another 8th grade boy during Spanish class on Monday morning.
Apparently, Boy #1 did not like being stared at by Boy #2. These two young guys are constantly trading barbs and insults. Not uncommon amongst boys of this age, but, calling someone a “homo” is where I call it quits.
Boy #1 could have chosen to say just about anything to Boy #2. But, he chose “homo.” Why?
I’m not really sure. Perhaps he felt his masculinity in jeopardy. Perhaps he was looking to get a reaction: What could top “homo”? Perhaps he just wanted to be mean.
What I do know is this:
1. Our society places a heavy premium on certain standards and beliefs re: masculinity, i.e. what it means to be a man – the macho man.
2. We develop our beliefs re: race, gender and sexual orientation from family members, television and peers. In many cases, those beliefs are filled with bias, ignorance and prejudice.
What’s especially perplexing is that I know that this young man’s parents would be shocked and surprised to know that he used this word in the manner he did. Unless, of course, there is something of which I am not aware, his parents do not hold prejudicial beliefs on the basis of sexual orientation, or any kind, for that matter.
When I called out Boy #1 on his action, he immediately knew and understood what he has said was inappropriate.
I do realize, though, that, I do not always respond to students in the best way when they use biased language. Perhaps it’s being a person of color, and hearing words, like “homo” is as visceral as hearing the N-word. While I do not respond in anger, I would like to be able to take a step back, explore, and discuss. Sometimes, this isn’t always possible.
To be continued, as they say. I will follow up with Boy #1.
I’ve often felt that attacks on masculinity, especially among adolescents, are the most likely to lead to physical violence. Boys call each other every name under the sun, but when words like ‘fag’, ‘homo’, and other similar words get thrown into the mix, that’s when things seem more likely to kick off. Good for you for taking the young man to task on that. I too have a gut reaction to hearing words like that tossed around now, but I admit to using them when I was younger and ignorant to the issue of homophobia. I never hated gay people, but I did use those words in a pejorative manner without even considering the implications. I am hopeful that a little education will have a greater impact on him than punishment, especially if his parents do not reinforce the use of that language at home.
I gave a stern lecture to my students on this and how they must not be passive in dealing with such matters. For me, the term "gay" is used in ways I find disrespectful; it is a fight that is taking time.
@Ed Haven’t heard "gay" used in the way you suggest – in a LONG time. That was big when I was in jr. high and high school, in the late 70s and early 80s. I’m sorry to learn it’s coming back in use. But, then again, perhaps in some parts of the country, it never fell out of use.@Damian Education is the key. We need to let kids know we disapprove, but, we also need to tell them WHY.